My feelings .....

This has been a difficult year.  I sprained my ankle in May, and never really seemed to recover.  I had trouble balancing on the rough gardens.  It seemed I could no longer do the work I knew I needed to do.  The gardens suffered through the summer.  They were full of weeds .. plus I could not keep up with harvesting. 

Through all of this I felt like such a failure.  What was happening to me?  Why could I not keep up?  Why was there such a huge change in me? 

I did a bunch of research and realized I have plantar fasciations and I felt a bit vindicated.  I also knew I needed to get it taken care of.  I decided to go to a podiatrists and get it taken care of.  He agreed that I had diagnosed it correctly and told me I needed a shot of cortisone to make it feel better.   I said NO, I don’t need that … and I really meant it.  He was a sweet talker, and made me think I DID need it.  I felt GREAT the next day and told everyone what a wonder it was!

The following day my foot felt bad again.  It hurt SO bad it was again difficult to walk.  I had an appointment for a massage. She took one look at my foot and refused to touch me.     She said it looked like cellulites and she didn’t want to make it worse. 

I went back to the podiatrists the next day and he confirmed it was cellulites and put me on antibiotics.  It got much worse from there.  I got a “bump” on my ankle that got redder and bigger and hurt so much I could not walk.  I was put on another antibiotic and sent home.  The “bump” on my ankle grew huge … it was about 2 -  3” around and 2” tall.  After a week in bed it festered enough that it was a giant pus pocket.  I went back to the doctor and was told I needed to go to the emergency room.  In the time it took us to go from the doctor to the emergency room the “abscess” had broken and was leaking into my shoe.  I spend 4 or 5 hours in the emergency room … just getting it cleaned up.  I got some good drugs … but it hurt so bad the drugs didn’t begin to touch it.

I was put on another antibiotic and sent home to “rest”.  I followed up with my family doctor 3 days later; she did nothing for me, bandaged it back up and sent me to a surgeon.  He cleaned it up and sent me to a wound clinic a few days later.  By this time I was taking 3 antibiotics and feeling awful from the effect of all of them, but I had to go back to work … I had never been gone from work for this long.  I have been back to the wound clinic at first every week, then every other week, and now finally I am at 3 weeks.  I have been under a doctor’s care for 3 months and the bills are piling up like crazy.  I am feeling much better …. But at times it still hurts to walk, mostly on bumpy ground.  

Phil has been wonderful taking care of me.  He is the kind of person who can’t stand blood or oozing wounds …. (He had to leave the emergency room).  He has really stood beside me.  In the beginning he had to bandage the wound twice a day.  Now it is only once a day.  He makes sure I don’t to “to much” and makes me sit down when he thinks I am getting tired.  He did all of the end of season gardening because I have been banned from the gardens for the rest of the year (apparently that makes staff infections worse). 

I know I am getting better, but the depression from this experience is awful.  I feel bad that I am not able to do my normal “jobs”.  I feel bad that Phil has had to take over so much of what I normally do and it is so difficult for him.  I feel inadequate … as if I am no longer capable of taking care of myself and my family. 

I am hopeful that in time everything will be back to normal. 

 

 

Butchering

Today was very tramatic for me.  We decided to raise rabbits for food.  Up until now it has been all fun and games.  We feed the bunnies, breed them and play with the babies.   Today was the first butchering day.  I am so thankful for our friend Doug.  He walked us through getting up and running with the rabbits.  He even gave me a doe (she died last Sunday along with 8 of her babies) that we totally fell in love with.  Her first litter was ready to be harvested today so Doug came to walk me through it.  I have been dreading this since the day they were born.  As hard as I tried, I fell in love with the big brown eyes and the soft fur. 

I know these animals were raised for food.  I know that this is the way of life we have chosen and there is a circle of life.  That doesn’t make a lot of difference when you are wacking this cute little animal over the head and taking it’s life.  I held each of the 6 bunnies we harvested today.  I gave each of them a hug and said thank you for the life you have given.  Doug and I said a prayer giving thanks. 

I am sure it will get easier (as it did with the chickens) but today was difficult.  Phil normally takes a nap in the afternoon, so I decided to do the same.  I didn’t take a nap as he did, I slept the entire afternoon away.  I didn’t wake until 7 PM.  I guess I needed the healing time …..

Summer Stress

This growing season is so strange for me.  I can’t seem to get myself motivated.  I know that I have taken on more this year than ever before, but I just don’t seem to have the ‘spirit” to do what I normally do.  My gardens are full of weeds.  The main garden has been overtaken with weeds ….. I have very little mulch down. The “fruit” garden is unbelievably overgrown.  The garlic and wheat should have been harvested weeks ago.  The peas strawberries and raspberries didn’t get harvested.  Even my house is overwhelming.  The floors are sticky, dust is deep, the dining room table is stacked high.  I am not sure how to get myself organized enough to get my work done.  The only garden that is under control is by the chickens.  Even that is not mulched!

I still have a lot of summer to get through.  Saturday will tramatic, as I butcher the first of our rabbits.  I am thankful our friend Doug is going to hold my hand and walk me through it all.  I really love these little bunnies so this is going to be hard for me.  Butchering the chickens is hard for me, but the rabbits are so cute and cuddly this is going to be HARD!  

I have at least two more big butchering days coming up soon.  We have 25 broilers that are within a few weeks of butchering … and we are getting 25 more on Thursday.  I will need to take out most of our old hens in the fall after the new chickens start laying.  Phil doesn’t want to go into winter with this many chickens.  The cycle of life is not easy on the farm!

New babies at Pooh Acres

Cinnamon started acting really strange about a week ago. She was agitated in fact throwing her dishes around the cage and really looked distressed. Phil and I built a nesting box for her that night, because non experienced me decided she HAD to be in labor. I filled the box up with straw and put her to bed for the evening. The next morning Phil went to check on her, the stinker took all of the straw out of her box and shoved every piece of it out of the cage. OK, we needed to try hay. She has left the hay in her box and displayed absolutely NO signs of wanting to be a mom. Until yesterday!




Yesterday she pulled lots of her fur out and made a nest in her box. No babies last night. No babies at 6 AM when I went out to check her. Finally late morning I asked Phil to look (I am at work ), he said there was some blood on the box but could not see anything. Then he saw a baby. I don’t know how many she has had, I am very excited to go home and look for myself. This is such an exciting time at Pooh Acres. I love babies, and spring time. I am super excited to get a pig. I hope it actually happens!



How could anyone ask for anything better than living on a little piece of heaven? We have been given the responsibility of caring for these animals. They in turn will feed and care for us.

Roasted Vegetables

I have found a great way to cook vegetables and they are so delicious you might not want to eat the entrée. I am probably the only person in the world who has not had roasted vegetables before. I made them for a first time a few months ago, and we honestly ate nothing else, because the vegetables were so good.



I love bristle sprouts cut in half, asparagus, rutabaga, carrots, onion, cabbage, sweet potatoes, green beans. The list could go on and on. After you have a cookie sheet filled with assorted (or just one if you want) vegetables drizzle olive oil over the veggies (don’t go crazy with it) then add seasonings. Every time I make it I put different seasonings on, switch it up. Pop it into the over at 425 or so for about 20 minutes then turn the veggies over and pop it back in for another 10 minutes or so. You can stop here, but I like them crispier so I turn the oven on broil. You have to keep a close eye on them because it will burn easily. I remove it from the oven when it is brown/blackish. I always make more than we can (hopefully) eat because I like to take it to work with me. I don’t even warm it before I eat it at lunch time. The taste of it cold is different, and quite good!


I think I could live on roasted vegetables.

Thoughts about my husband

When I  was a child I spoke as a child, I thought as a child.  It took me a long time to grow up, in fact I am probably not totally grown up.  One thing I have done is mature in my feelings.  When Phil and I got married, I loved him.  But now as we have lived together, and worked toward building our dream my feelings have changed.  I am no longer looking at him with little girl eyes (not that I was a little girl when we got married!!) but with eyes that hold the appreciation of someone who always has my back. 

We have worked together to build gardens to feed us, and rejoiced the bounty of the harvest.  He has carried and hauled tons of straw and hay for mulch in the garden.  He has pounded countless posts into the ground to build fences to keep the deer our.  He has carried an amazing amount of jars up the basement steps and then after I have filled them, back down the steps.  He has carried my canners for miles up and down those steps.  He has helped me lug our harvest from the garden into the kitchen to prepare it for storage.  Along the way he has enjoyed some amazing food as well!

He was not excited about following my hearts desire to raise animals.  That didn’t matter he brought in a shed to make into a chicken coop.  He built a fortress for the chickens to sleep in and a huge yard for them to run in.  We raised 150 birds for meat last year (we sold 75% of them), this year we will do that many but not all at the same time.  He has complained about them, but also loves them.  He knows each of the laying hens by name, and sometimes can tell me what chicken laid which egg.  He didn’t complain to much about getting rabbits, and now that we are about to have our first litter, he is as excited as a child.  Pigs, well we will talk about that next year.

My point to all of this, I have the great fortune to be married to my best friend.  He has rescued me when I got a flat tire on a very cold and snowy day.  He rescued me when the tire fell off my car on the interstate.  He has bandaged my cuts and blisters.  He has dried my tears and let me cry when I was sad. He has encouraged me to do what I needed to,  cheered me when I failed.  Loved me when I felt unlovable, walked beside when I am strong, and behind to push me when I am weak.

The road will never be smooth, but without the bumps how can we appreciate the downhill side?  

bread making day

I have been learning more about nutrition, and realizing how much I don't know.  One of the things I am trying to understand more about is sprouting grains.  As I understand, grain doesn't digest properly in humans, it is intended for cattle and they have 4 stomachs to digest it.  Grain has been shown to cause humans to gain weight, and their bodies are not as strong and healthy and they should be. My friend Jen told me how to sprout wheat, which will apparently change the entire structure of the grain and make it easier for the body to digest. 

Olivia gets her turn at kneeding

Last weekend I sprouted a batch of wheat and they dried it in my dehydrated.  I froze it so it didn't spoil.   The kids came out Friday night to spend the night. On Saturday The girls and I made bread.  We ground the wheat into flour.  Olivia was amazed that the wheat could change into such a soft great smelling powder.   We talked about yeast, and how it was a living organism.  They were amazed at how yeast will make the bread "poof" up.  I explained how we needed to proof the yeast with sweetener and make it grow.  Ruby listened with so much attention and brightened up suddenly and said "We have to proof it  to prove that it works".  She got it! 


Ruby is the first to kneed the bread

We used the Kitchen Aid to mix the ingredients but the girl worked hard to kneed the dough.  

We are ready to let the dough rise.

The dough has risen twice and now they are shaping ad putting it into the stone bread pan for the final rise of the dough.











Unfortunately I didn't get a photo of the baked bread.  They were to excited to try it!  What a great day.