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Monday, June 22, 2015

Feeling Very Sad


Time marches on, and live evolves.  It has been over 2 years since I have spoken with Delana.   My phone number has been blocked on hers and Caelum’s phones (or so I assume since I go directly to voice mail).  My emails are not answered, and I am still blocked on Facebook.  I know her address only because I work for a company that knows where everyone lives. 

The pain is no better than it was 2 years ago.  I can hold back the tears more than 2 years ago unless I am alone in my lonely bedroom.   I look at photos of the kids and wonder what they look like now.  Caelum is almost 16.  His voice has likely changed and he is probably shaving.  I wonder how he is doing in school?  I wonder why he quit band ROTC and Speech. 

Ruby is almost 12.  I am sure she is a beauty.  She has always been so smart.  Olivia will soon be 11.  I am having a problem with both of them being that old.  We missed the years they were in England, now we are missing these years. 

I sent flowers to Delana on Mothers Day.  I thought it might melt her heart just a bit, but it didn’t.  I may go to my grave never seeing my daughter and her beautiful children again. 

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