I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and hashimoto's thyroiditis about 6 or so years ago. At the time I thought it was really no big deal. I had a lot more pain but nothing I could not live with. I refused the pain medication, I don't want to live like that. I just went on with my life.
Fast forward to today. I wake up every morning wishing I didn't have to get out of bed. It hurts to walk. It hurts to move my fingers. Somedays it hurts if I am touched on the arm or shoulder. This is not a disease that plays fair. There is no cure. There is no way to know if you are going to wake up feeling OK or more often to wake up wishing you could just sleep the day away.
I used to love spring. It was a time for the world to wake up and start to live again after the long winter. This year spring means only work to me. I don't enjoy working in the garden anymore. If I had things my way there would be no garden. I still enjoy the flowers and planting some things close to the house in pots, they are pretty easy to care for. I love my chickens and I look forward to seeing them every day, but I don't want to raise meat birds anymore, I just don't want to butcher. It is hard work and I am not sure I could do it again this year. I am not sure how I am going to butcher the "old girls" this fall to make room for the young ones. I feel very inadequate. I feel used up!
I try not to complain. It honestly does no good to burden anyone else with what I am feeling. Phil will ask me how I feel, I normally say I am OK, what else can I do?
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